a thousanD anD onE reasonS tO believE . 1

from people who don’t like
the goD they find in the bible
who orders genocides
and tells his people
to even kill the babies
of their enemieS

.and i confess
my soul revolts in horror
that goD would order murder
and maybe more that i never noticed

?was it somehow (1)
not evil that goD did iT
?was it it evil (2)
and goD did it anyaY
?or was it evil (3)
and goD didn’t do iT

.no nonsense
it cannot be
that a deed is not objectively
bad or gooD
.it must be either good
or baD
.and no fair changing definitions
to make good mean ,,what goD does,,
and bad mean ,,what goD hateS,,
.that makes good and bad

for it seems that goD told us
both to love our enemies
and to kill them
and i’m pretty sure when jesuS said
to love our enemies
hE was probably intending ,,don,t kill them,,
as part of hiS orderS

.my soul revolted
my conscience screamed
for a few hours i think
i might have been an atheist

?why believE
?what good can there be in iT
besides avoiding

.elie wiesel said
,,.because i remember ,i despaiR
.because i remember ,I have the duty to reject despaiR
.i remember the killers, i remember the victims
even as i struggle to invent
a thousand and one reasons to hopeE,,

.because i remember, i doubt
because i remember ,i have a duty to faith in chrisT
i remember the stories
i wrestle with the questions
even as i struggle to invent
a thousand and one reasons to hope
a thousand and one reasons to believE

.brokeN | reason onE
.the world is brokeN .we have some crazy intuition
that something in this crazy world has gone horribly wronG
.something somewhere somehow within us weeps
like we somehow know the world was meant

for more than thiS .like it was made for something betteR
,like wE were made for something better

,like we were made for something morE
.the fact that my soul revolts to what

the biblE says goD did itself is a remindeR
that something in the world

has gone horribly