For you.

During communion today, Troy read the story again. Somehow I had overlooked the words of Jesus, but today they came in loud and clear: “This is my body, broken for you.” “For you.” Not for the world. Not for Christians in general. For me.

“This is the new covenant in my blood, shed for you.” For you.

And i guess somehow I’d missed the “for you” in all the craziness of life and living. I think God was saving it for me, for this time when I’d need it more than ever.

Yesterday, I was walking along the beach of Huntington Lake (original name, eh?) and thinking and praying… and I just kinda got this idea that maybe I should write a few of the lies I’ve believed in the sand – somewhere temporary where I would realize that 1) I can walk away from them, and 2) the rain and wind and tide will wash them away. So I wrote them, in the sand, like so:

-You are unlovable.
-No girl could ever love you.
-No daddy would ever trust you with his little girl.
-You are wicked.
-If anyone ever got to know you, they would walk away… or if they didn’t, they would never trust you again.

I looked over the lies, then drew a cross next to each one with my stick. I faced them down, one by one.

“You are unlovable” was busted – Jesus loves me, this I know. “For God so LOVED the world… For God so loved David. And people love me, though not all of them. I am lovable because He is love.

“No girl could ever love you.” “FALSE!” I said out loud to the wind and the lake. “I know several girls who love me. False!”

“No Daddy would ever trust you with his little girl.” I stared at that one, unsure of what to do with it, and decided to come back to it.

“You are wicked.” “FALSE! I AM the righteousness of God, in Christ.”

“If anyone ever got to know you, they would walk away…” “FALSE!” I said to the sand. “There are people who know me, really know me. They didn’t walk away. FALSE!”

“if they didn’t, they would never trust you again.” There was no loud “FALSE.” I just said softly, “Ree trusted me.” And that broke it. If Ree trusted me, trusted me with little kids and with telling them about Jesus, then there must be something trustworthy in me. Maybe I’m the one who doesn’t trust me. Maybe I’m just afraid I’ll hurt someone. And maybe I’ve been projecting that fear onto other people. Girls and their daddies maybe. Maybe.

So I looked up and realized that I’d been projecting that fear of me onto daddies of girls. “False,” I said to that one. I took my stick and scratched over all of them, in large letters, FALSE.

I didn’t realize until later that the trust part is kinda like the high ropes course at Jumonville: I’m not even holding myself up, so whether or not I trust myself to stay on top of the wire, as long as I’m clipped in, I’m not going to fall. My part of the keeping me safe is so minimal. Jesus does so much. Maybe I should trust myself… Not my sin, not the devil.. but trust myself, that maybe I can do some things right.

But that leads back into Communion today. When I was remembering my fear that perhaps I am unlovable, the body and the blood of Christ suddenly took on new meaning. Because they were “for me.” They were, out of Jesus’ love, for me.

They’re “for you” too. Remember that the next time you hold the bread and the cup in your hand and are meditating on your unworthiness: That in spite of your unworthiness, Jesus body was broken and his blood was shed, and you place in your mouth a representation of that body and blood… broken and spilled…

for you.


15 thoughts on “For you.

  1. DAVID SCHELL! YOU ARE GOD'S BEAUTIFUL UNREPEATABLE MIRACLE AND THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER ONE LIKE YOU! You are my bro, you are a son, a friend, a mentor, a great fisher of man, you are a great example of how a true Christian is! You are very dear and special to not only God, but many people as well (I know that you're very special to me!). The devil is a sissy because the only thing he can do is tell lies and hope we believe them, but keep in mind that our Dad is bigger! :]

  2. Good point Dave! We had communion tonight too. Paul was the chiefest of sinners. What have we done that is worse than his sins? God's grace is sufficient for every sin. Call me sometime. I don't even know what college you're at. luv ya

  3. Ree: Thank you! Did I mention I love you?Alyssa: You're welcome. I love you and i miss you.Tyler: My blood family :)Kelsa: You're welcome.DAVID ORR! But you are more so. And I miss you too.Aunty Becca: I WILL call you sometime!Sara Trasp: And I love you too! 🙂

  4. Dave, this is truly beautiful. You have a gift from Yeshua of being able to portray emotions into words. Keep using this gift. Also, i love LOVE love the picture of you writing the lies in the sand. We need to do things like this…we need to go beyond the traditional things that we do with God and let Him lead us…because He is all throughout life. This is truly beautiful. Continue to say no to those lies. Know i stand by your side as a friend and sister of Yeshua who loves you : )

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